Do you think people will think that was dumb? Do you think they'll think I'm too career-obsessed? That I'm trying too hard? What if they think I'm pretentious? That I'm being serious? What if they think I'm wrong?
Um, well, so what if they do?
The amount of time spent simply worrying about what others think and how others are perceiving my words and actions would probably amount to more than a year of my life.
Wait, I'm sorry... what?
I am in constant agony that people are thinking of me a certain way. I take comments from friends and others to heart, nearly every time (except when they're kidding of course- I am cursed as the easiest person to make fun of). I mull over things that people forget about within 10 seconds of it happening. And, I'm guessing that I think about others thoughts more than they even think about them themselves.
Being well-liked is important to me and it always has been. Pleasing others is something I take seriously in my professional and personal life. I generally attempt to not anger anyone, and if I do, I apologize until they are even more angry with me than before- because that's what I do (#sorryIamsorry).
Amid the worry and the attempts to be everything for everyone, to be the right person and to cater myself to meet everyone's individuals needs and expectations, I lost the ability to say f*** it and actually be myself.
Certain people will always find the need to belittle others, to share why they think what you're doing is wrong or let you know how they feel about the way you're living your life. However no one really knows what you're doing, but you.
People will always talk. People will always judge. People will always find something that they dislike.
But people will also support.
They will support you in your endeavors, they will think they best of you. They will feel truly happy for you in your successes, and to be completely honest, some of them won't care one way or the other- because they're so wrapped up in worrying about their life that they won't even notice something you may be worried they think less of you for.
Living with consideration for and in harmony with others is important, in fact it is crucial. However, living with liberation and a sense of self, regardless of how you will fit into the mold and minds of others, is bliss.
I pride myself in my image, my personal brand. I always will, and that's not a bad thing (I am an "aspiring PR pro" after all). But at what point do you say enough is enough? When the question of how you are being perceived by others takes over your decisions, takes over your mind, stops you from doing certain things, and ultimately consumes your thoughts- that's when. Because at that point, it has not only taken over your life, it essentially is your life.
And that's not exactly the life I would like to live.
And so, as long as you're happy, as long as you're coming into your own and as long as you're figuring out who you want to be- that's good enough. That's good enough, and if that's not good enough for someone else, than maybe they aren't good enough for you.
*I thought about titling this one "Haters Gon' Hate, but I thought people would think that was too mainstream... oh wait I'm doing it again.