I began the morning of Thanksgiving with an awesome champagne hangover, (they should put a warning on the bottle), and, to be completely honest, a feeling of self-pity. Why? Because I am spending Thanksgiving away from my family for the fifth year in a row, with no turkey and no pumpkin pie with Cool Whip- that's why.
So, as I spoke with my mom on the phone and told her my sob story (consisting of my self-inflicted drunken shenanigans of last night which led to my current feeling of sickness and altogether aloneness on Thanksgiving), I realized something.
I realized that I have a phone to call my family on. I realized that the reason I'm not spending Thanksgiving with my family is because they support me at an out-of-state college and have for the past five years (sorry about the victory lap). I realized that I did have friends invite me to their Thanksgivings, but I had too much pride and I am too "strong and independent" (am I, though?) to say yes. I realized that the feeling of self-pity was ultimately pathetic, ungrateful, and not what I choose to feel today.
I then decided to try something.
I started to spend what felt like the majority of my morning attempting to text all those that have made an impact on my life or that I am grateful for.
After about an hour and a half-battery life, I realized something else- something more.
I have an insane amount of people and things to be grateful for.
And we all do.
We are all living in an incredible world where we can truly do whatever we want. We are all alive. We all have passions, we all have goals. We all have things that make us feel alive.
So today, I am grateful for life, for this planet, for my passions, for my homework (yeah, education is kind of cool), for my mistakes, for my flaws, for my lessons learned along the way. For everything, really- because being overwhelmed with how truly awesome life is, is the best feeling in the world, and I am grateful it is possible.
Not only am I grateful, but I want to give some overdue "thanks."
I want to thank each person that has walked in and out of my life, I want to thank each person that has stayed. I want to thank each person that has supported me in my endeavors, and I want to thank each person that has shot me down. I want to thank the friends I've had since I was in preschool, and I want to thank the friends I have met within the past year (also maybe the friends I met last night, not sure). I want to thank each person in my life that loves me for me, that accepts my crazy flaws and that puts up with my "my life is a disclaimer and I worry a lot" self.
I want to thank everyone in my life, for simply being in my life.
And I wish it didn't take until today for me to do this.
But you see, the cool thing about life is that you can start something new at any moment, with no apologies- so everyone- THANKS.