Addicting, Overcoming, Continuing

Success is addicting. Simple as that.

The more things work out in my life, the more things I try. The more I touch others with my writing and my work, the more things I want to put out there— the more I want.

I hardly bask in the moment when an article is published, because five minutes later I'm thinking of the next thing to submit, the next thing to accomplish.

Success is addicting, and success doesn't come easy.

As different things have started to work out in my life, it has been easy to become victim of addiction. Addiction to doing well, addiction to success.

Success is something I want, it's something I need. What defines success for me, that is what will change as I grow and experience new things. That definition will change as I mature, as I figure out what I truly want in life.

The problem that I have already started to see, the problem that I have already experienced— is the fear of failure. The hatred of failure. The hindrance of failure.

When you get caught up in the joys and surreal feelings of hearing "yes," it is hard to hear a "no."

And so, it's been easier to play it safe and stick to what I know works, stick with what I know will get me a "yes."

But that, is not going to get me what I want.

Because I want big things.

I want to do great things, I want to do a lot of things.

And behind great things, lies greater courage.

Courage to be okay with failing. Courage to realize that just because you fail once (or a million times) doesn't mean you're bad at what you do, doesn't mean it's not meant to be. Courage to do something daring, something that not everyone will like you for.

I am a people-pleaser.

I like to be well-liked. I like people to think highly of me. I like it when no one is upset with me. I like when people agree with me.

This makes it hard to take chances. This makes it hard to fully express my opinions.

But if I want to do these great things, if I want to feed my addiction to success— it's something I have to overcome.

I have to overcome my fear of failure, my fear of not pleasing everyone.

I have to overcome it, or my life will be a game played so safely that I never hit my maximum potential.

And so, I must continue on with this mindset— accepting setbacks and pushing forward. It's not going to happen overnight, and that's okay.

Will it be easy? No. Will it be worth it? I guess I don't have a choice but to believe... "yes."