When Google Was My Doctor
I'm going to tell you a story about anxiety. While comical, also note that anxiety is actually a real thing for me and this was just a super ridiculous version of it that made me realize that sometimes, my head strives to be my enemy.
This is a classic case of "everything is 100X magnified at 2 a.m." Or, if you're a 5 a.m.-er such as myself, this translates to a classic case of "everything is 100X magnified at 10 p.m."
I was laying down in bed, watching Chicago Med on Hulu, because, that actor guy is so attractive though, when my left arm started to ache through my forearm.
"Weird," I thought.
I continued to watch the show (which btw is not that good), and the pain continued, eventually moving up my arm and making it's way to my shoulder.
"Hmmm," I thought. "I bet Google can tell me EXACTLY what's going on, (considering they know my age, gender, medical history, genetics, etc........)."
Google search pops up: WebMD: Pain in your left arm? You might be having a heart attack.
...... Two hours later and I find myself in the rabbit hole that is the internet, Googling different symptoms of heart attacks, eventually convincing myself I have diabetes and need to go to the emergency room.
"But wait, the emergency room is extremely expensive, I can't do that," I tell myself.
I live with a roommate that works night shifts, so he wasn't here during my bout of psycho (good for him), but I knew that if I went to sleep in my room and had a heart attack in the middle of the night, he probably wouldn't realize I was still in there when he got home.
"I refuse to be the person that dies alone in their apartment... single and alone," I think.
I get dressed, grab my phone (you know, in case I get chest pain... which BTW I haven't even had yet), and transition to the couch. "This way, he'll find me if I die," I think.
Eventually I realized my shoulder was hurting when I moved it, which Google says doesn't signify a heart attack, and I was able to migrate back to my bed at 3 a.m. and fall asleep.
Because the fact that I'm 24, have no family history of heart attacks, am a healthy person, and was having zero chest pain wasn't a tip off.
In the end, I was able to get a solid 2 hour night sleep just in time to chug too much coffee and create a racing heart for the day ahead...