2021 Lesson Wrap-Up

It’s Christmas eve, and, to be honest, I don’t have much to do… so like the nut job I am, I thought I’d write out the key lessons I’ve learned this last year.

2021 was one of the most pivotal for me for a multitude of reasons, including lots of travel and the fact that for the majority of the year, I’ve been in the last year of my twenties.

I was lucky to spend about half of the year in Montana, and half the year in Boston… with a month stint in California with friends and family. I grew a lot this year, and while I’m nowhere near perfect, I thought I’d share some of the major lessons I’ve taken from this year.

Let’s go…

Lesson 1: Let people leave.

I used to be the person that killed myself thinking of all the things I did wrong in situations when people decided they didn’t want to be a part of my life. I beat myself thinking of every reason they may have left. I tried to figure it out. I tried to understand.

This is probably the first year of my life that I haven’t done that, because I have genuinely not cared either way.

Of course, it hurts when people don’t want to be a part of your life. Of course, it would be better if people you want in your life also wanted to be a part of yours — but at the end of the day, you have to let them walk away.

Asking “why” someone left or trying to get to the bottom of it is usually a pointless expedition (and yes, if someone doesn’t tell you straight up why they don’t want to be involved in your life… it usually is a freaking expedition to get the answer). It is usually pointless because at the end of the day, all that matters is that they’re not here right now, today. It doesn’t matter what you did or what is going on with them or why they aren’t around.

They are not around. And all you have is now. Period.

Lesson 2: React less, preserve your state of mind more.

Thanks mostly to The Daily Stoic book and some podcasts I’ve stumbled on, I’ve learned this year (though I still mess this one up often), that allowing things to upset you or giving things energy that don’t deserve it, is not productive or helpful for you. The way people act generally has nothing to do with you, so, you can let someone’s bad attitude or the fact that you spilled your coffee ruin your day, or you can realize that you are in control of your emotions and how you react.

Let it go. Let it be.

Lesson 3: Figure out what makes you feel like you. Do that.

While I’m still working on being more consistent with working out and moving my body, this was the first year in a long time I was able to be more consistent than before. When I move my body, when I listen to music & podcasts, when I read, when I write, when I spend time outside, when I am with new people and friends and family — I feel like myself. I feel like me.

I do those things without second guessing myself now. I take care of myself by doing things I love, so that I can go out in the world and hopefully connect with others in some way.

I do things that FEEL like a “f yes” in my body and mind and heart. I let the rest fade away.

Do things that you love for YOU. Let go of what it will look like or who will think it’s “enough” — if you’re happy, it will always be enough.

Lesson 4: Don’t be afraid to change.

This year, I realized my dreams look different now than they did before. I used to be obsessed with being a business owner in the city — too busy to do anything but be a boss CEO entrepreneur or whatever — as I have spent more time doing things I love I have learned that my dreams have shifted as I have shifted.

I no longer only care about my career and being “the best”. I now care more about taking care of myself, enjoying the present moment, and living life the way it is supposed to be lived — happy, balanced, peaceful, and free.

Lesson 5: Quit telling stories, focus on what is.

This year I have done a lot of work to focus less on stories I tell myself about why someone acted a certain way or what “could” happen — and I focus more on what is actually happening. What is actually in front of me. This keeps me present, positive, and out of my own head.

Let go of what you can’t control — what will be, will be.

Lesson 6: Life will never look like what you thought.

I go through phases where I’m down on myself. Why am I not there in life, why am I here? I realized this year that your dreams manifest differently sometimes. For example, my dream had always been to live half the year in the city and half in Montana. No, I don’t own houses either place and no, I don’t have someone to share it with — but I am doing that right now, today.

Don’t miss out on living your dreams because it’s not the perfect picture you once hoped for — it’s probably even better.

Lesson 7: Growth is my goal.

I’ve adopted a mindset this year that everything I do — in work, in family, in dating, in finance, in health — is for the sole purpose of learning and growing into who I’m meant to be. When things don’t work out the way I want, as long as I did what I could, I accept the outcome and figure out the lesson to be learned.

Lesson 8: You won’t get what you deserve until you believe you deserve it.

You wont get what you deserve until you believe you deserve it.

Read that again. That’s all.

Lesson 9: Having a positive attitude will change your life.

Having a positive attitude will change your life.

Read that again. That’s also all.