How To Become Abundant With Money
I’ll start this off by being candid, honest, a little vulnerable — maybe a little (a lot) embarrassed.
I’m currently in a good place in regards to my financial health. I generally spend within my limits, think before purchasing, feel more relaxed around money — have an overall decent relationship with money and spending.
But it wasn’t always this way.
Before I get into it, I do want to be fully transparent. On top of having a decent money mindset, I am also in a fortunate spot right now as I am currently living rent free. This of course does allow me a lot of freedom to use my money as I please which includes lots of travel, fashion, things for my health & personal well-being, and savings. All that being said, I have also done a lot of growth in this arena that I don’t want to discredit just because of my current situation.
Okay, now that the disclaimer is complete — back to being embarrassed.
It wasn’t always this way.
I spent a lot of my twenties in a limiting mindset. One where I felt scarce in everything did. I felt I never had enough time, clothes, knowledge, experience, good looks — money. And with this mindset, came a lot of self sabotaging actions. Take “looks” for example. I thought I needed to go on the perfect diet to look perfect, so I’d binge eat the night prior, only to not stick to said diet. I had this scarcity mindset that I had to eat it all now, because I never would be able to again (logical, right?!).
Applying this to money went a little bit like this: *worries she doesn’t have enough money to cover expenses, panics and says “F IT, I’LL GO ON A PERFECT BUDGET WHERE I SPEND NOTHING ADDITIONAL AND HAVE NO FUN STARTING TOMORROW,” while charging her credit card with things she cannot afford (logical, right?).
I got myself into some debt. And I’ll give myself a little grace here, as I did move to one of the most expensive cities in the country and took a pay cut to do so, all while struggling with my anxiety and these limiting mindsets.
But, it wasn’t great. And truthfully, it used to be one of my biggest insecurities. How could I fathom doing anything with my creative work, or giving people advice through my writing, let alone DATING knowing the debt I had gotten myself into?
Not to be dramatic, but it felt like I was carrying around a cloud or some extremely heavy weight daily, knowing the bills I was paying. Not because the bills were necessarily difficult to pay (I was lucky enough to be employed and able to do so) — but because I knew they were there for one reason. Me.
So, I worked hard at my job to move up and get myself in a different position in order to quickly pay this off. But let me tell you something that you might not want to hear.
It doesn’t matter how much money you make. If you don’t fix your relationship with money, and your mindset around scarcity — you will ALWAYS find something to spend it on.
You will have issues with your money until you do the work to fix it.
I worked to fix my mindset with food, body, money, clothes — all the things. I worked for years to live more abundantly. And while I’m not perfect (who ever is?) I can honestly say I’m proud of where I am today (helps that I squashed the debt too :)).
This is a snippet of my own story with money. Quite frankly, I’m sick of having so much shame around this for myself and for others. Rarely are we taught in school how to deal with money on a personal / psychological level, and I wanted to provide an amazing and sound resource for you all.
And so I enlisted my personal life coach, Paige Schmidt. Paige has been the most integral piece of my self growth journey since 2018 (5 years — thanks for hanging in there with me, Paige). She has helped me to heal my relationship with all of these things in my life, by helping me to realize that “how you treat one thing is how you treat all things”, and so much more.
“How you treat one thing is how you treat all things.”
I hope you’ll enjoy these tangible tips on how to build an abundant mindset around money from Paige, who was generous enough to sit down with me and pour her wisdom into me, and now, into you.
8 Tips for Becoming Abundant with Money
It’s easy to look at those you aspire to be or look up to, and wonder how it would be possible to ever be like them. Most of the time however, those people have had struggles all their own that have gotten them to the place they are today.
This is certainly the case for me, and it is also the case for Paige.
Paige has now been a life coach for over a decade, specializing in aligned living with experience in financial coaching, intuitive eating coaching, and more. She’s helped hundreds of women (myself included) to move past negative mental models and live more aligned.
But a healthy money mindset didn’t always come easy to Paige.
Paige used to live by the mantra to “not live outside your means.” She never overspent, but she never saved either. Many of us do this, thinking we are doing it “right,” forgetting that we have the opportunity and deserve to have the opportunity to also try to invest in our future. Of course, situations change and different seasons of life call for different things, but overall, it is important to consider your future self when looking at your money.
With money, there is often this little thing called the fear mindset. Paige explained that while she still has this at times, she has learned to manage it, be aware of it, and still get results with her money despite it.
“Even though I’m in a better place with money, I still have that fear mindset sometimes. Now, when it pops up, I shift it — and that’s what allows me to keep going”.
So, how did Paige break the code to learn to invest in her future and feel abundant, and what does she recommend for you? Let’s find out.
#1 Read up.
One of the first things Paige did when shifting her money mindset in order to think about her future, was to attend a workshop. While she specifically attended a Dave Ramsey course at her church, this could mean another thing for you.
So check out books at your library, or follow financial blogs. I know it sounds lame and time consuming, but it’s time to get financially literate. Gaining knowledge in this area will not only allow you to make better decisions and give you reasoning as to “why” you’re making new choices, but it will also give you the confidence you need to act with certainty and feel good about your new path.
#2 Find what works for you.
Something Paige mentioned about her journey with money really stood out to me. When Paige got engaged, her husband had one way of looking at money, and she had another. Instead of trying to conform to each other’s strategies and viewpoints, they took the mentioned workshop together, and formed a new money mindset together.
“Instead of me having my mindset and him having his, we went and got a new mindset together.”
Whether you’re in a relationship with a big spender, a big saver, or anything between, or if you’re not in a relationship but want to adjust your mindset and strategies (it’s me, hi) — it is pertinent that you figure out what works for you.
For example, I will never be someone that only saves (unless it’s a specific season of life that calls for it). I will always want a little flexibility where I am able to grab a coffee or go on a weekend trip. That is okay — figure out what works for you instead of trying to conform to what others tell you or you think is the “perfect” way to do things.
#3 Get clear on what you value.
According to Paige, a big part of learning to be calm around your money is learning how to spend on your values. Do you want to spend more on your health and wellness? Or maybe travel? Or maybe this year you are saving for a house? Figure out what you care about (and I mean truly care about).
From there, you can create a monthly budget with your expenses and bake in spending that aligns with what you care about. Paige noted that when you are spending based on your values, you feel more intentional and less anxious about purchases, because you know you are feeding and enriching your life in a way that feels rewarding in the long run.
Take this a step further by deciding what you are spending on before you spend it. When able, get intentional about where purchases are going in advance. This helps you to remove guilt, shame, or anxiety as you purchase things, because you are taking the impulsivity out of the equation.
For example, Paige knew she wanted to update her wardrobe to align with the version of her she has become. To do this, she did a large clothing haul each quarter or season. She knew her budget and knew it was coming up, so when it came time, she didn’t feel badly about spending money on clothing — instead, she was able to ENJOY the process and feel more aligned with her truest self.
Another tip Paige gave was to consider the things that actually bring you joy in your daily life. A lot of times, these things don’t cost a dime. What brings joy to you? Think about things like sitting in the sun on a blanket, a warm cup of coffee, reading a good book, going on a walk with a friend — many of these simple things are affordable or even free. Write these things down and keep it where you can find it when you start feeling the need (or social media tells you) to buy that next big thing.
#4 Get the tools in place.
Now that you’ve done the groundwork, it’s time to put some tangible things in place to make your life and money work for you, not against you. Paige had some amazing tips that can easily be implemented today:
Create a monthly budget.
Paige (and myself) creates a monthly budget that is adjusted each month depending on what is going on. This way, larger expenses or trips can be accounted for and you are able to see where your money is going.
If you realize you’re going over in an area during the month, evaluate if you need to adjust or pull back elsewhere — there is no wrong answer as long as you are following your goals and aligning with yourself along the way.
Name different savings / checking accounts.
Paige suggested naming different savings or checking accounts that remind you of what they are there for and keep things fun. Things like “travel savings” or “spending account” can be good ways to ensure you are saving for the things you value and want most. In addition, having a different savings account for your emergency fund and for “guilt free spending” allows for you to be intentional and secure, but also allows for spontaneity, allowing you to feel more free with your money.
Try an app like EveryDollar.
Paige swears by this app to track spending and stay on track. This app helps you to track the different categories you are spending on and where your money is going. She does not suggest that we never go over our budget for different items such as eating out or clothes, but that we are aware of where we may be overspending so that we can adjust accordingly for that month or the next. Being flexible and having grace is key to managing your overall budget.
Consider getting a financial advisor.
“Go get a brokerage account yesterday.”
Having someone in your corner to review your goals, set-up things like brokerage accounts, and offer guidance is never a bad idea. Paige recommends anyone interested in their financial health consider this option as they move forward in their budgeting journey, and that they “go get a brokerage account yesterday.”
Save for big items in advance.
If you know you have a large item you’ll need to pay for, like a property tax or car registration, break up the bill in advance, so you are saving monthly for the expense. Then, when it comes time to pay it — stress is out the window and you’re prepared (we’re all about helping our future selves here).
Don’t always fall for sales.
Paige doesn’t shop just because there is a sale. From her perspective, if you start shopping this way it becomes a lifestyle habit, and puts you into a scarcity mindset that tells you that you must shop because it is cheaper now. That said, for items you have planned in advance to purchase - sales can be a great way to save some money on things you truly desire and care about.
# 5 Re-evaluate, and be flexible with grace.
One of the coolest things about this entire process is getting to know yourself. As you budget and spend toward your values, you will learn what actually brings you joy versus what does not. As you go through months and even years — take note of where you’re overspending, what brings you happiness, and what you value most. And then, don’t be afraid to change.
“Budgeting this long has helped me to have this natural filter of what is and what is not worth it to me.”
As you realize what you value, you will spend less on certain things so that when you do, it feels more special. For example, eating out or ordering takeout on a special occasion (instead of every day).
#6 Don’t forget your future self.
Often, Paige sees people struggle to save because it’s “easier” to spend on fun things now. We forget about our future selves and the gratification that comes with long-term happiness (that could happen if we save for our future!). Often, we think we need to be happy all the time, but we truly only know happiness when we know hard — and it is important to provide space for both.
“Often, we think we need to be happy all the time, but you only know happiness when you know hard — and it is important to provide space for both.”
Before spending, Paige encourages us all to “come back to calm”. Walk outside, sit on the porch, take a shower — once you feel calm really think, “will this purchase make leave me happier? Will this help me be the person I am trying to become?” When you do this, you won’t feel so reactionary, because you are keeping your future self in mind.
# 7 Adjust that mindset.
Many of these tips are pretty tactical and logical. The part that can often be the most difficult is the part that we cannot see.
If you are someone that tends to have a rigid mindset or air on the side of scarcity with money or other things in life, it’s time to break those thoughts. Using such an “all or nothing” or rigid strategy when budgeting will most likely lead to burnout. Most of us need a middle ground in order to be successful and enjoy the process. Ask yourself, “what would create a joyful life while sticking to my budget?”
“Budgeting super strictly and having no flexibility is probably going to burn us out.”
Spend some time and think about what you want with your money and who you want to be. How would someone that owns a house show up in her daily life? How would she feel walking into the grocery store? These are questions to ask yourself and begin to step into.
This is not an easy process. Your brain has neural pathways that have been there for (most likely) years telling you something different about who you are with money. These pathways are dug out like streams of water going down a mountain. As you have the same thoughts, your brain releases them like water going down the mountain into these preconceived streams and crevices.
But you can build new streams.
Each day you must reframe your thoughts around who you are and how you show up around money — as if you are physically digging a new stream each day for new thoughts to flow.
“You can intentionally decide to create a new thought, and you actually HAVE to intentionally decide to create a new thought.”
The process of resetting your mindset is a long one. But it is worth it, and only if you learn to enjoy this process will you truly be able to succeed.
Rome was not built in a day.
It’s time to learn to love the process of building Rome.
#8 Know you can do it.
When I asked Paige what she’d want people to know, she left me with this,
“I want people to know they can be different. Some people think that “this is just the way I am” — but you can choose to be different. And if someone else is doing it, you can do it too.”
* I realize not everyone is in a place they can think about saving, and I am fortunate to be here at this moment in my life. Seasons ebb and flow, and this article is meant to help anyone that is looking to shift their mindset, even if they are not in a position to save today.