give in to the truth

 

I was re-writing my goals for the 100th time in the past few months (not literally the 100th, I hope) — when I stopped. 

I was doing it again. 

A few years back, I had to give in to a truth in a certain aspect of my life — dance. The truth was, as many times as I set goals to reach or set plans to achieve, ballet wasn't my life anymore. 

Ballet wasn't what I wanted anymore. 

And so, I continued to set goals that I would never reach.

And here we are again.

Only this time, it's not about ballet — it's about my life.

I have recently had a hard time keeping habits that I know will help me attain goals. I have had a hard time sticking with a certain plan for more than a few weeks, sometimes, even days.

And so, as I sat re-working my strategy that would give me my desired end result — I stopped. 

I stopped because, the end result, well, it wasn't what I wanted at all. 

And deep down, I think I had known this all along. 

And I finally realized tonight, that this is why I hadn't attained much of what I had set out to attain. 

Because the "why" behind it — the end result, it wasn't the truth. 

I had spent months suppressing my dreams, goals, and hopes. And why? Because they're a little unconventional. They're not necessarily what everyone would like me to do. They require sacrificing a hell of a lot. 

Because I am lucky to have different options, choices, and paths. 

But the truth is, we all will come across many opportunities in our lives. And if we work hard, we will come across many — and many of them will be good. 

What it is your job to do, what it is your privilege to do, is decide which ones are the right ones, for you. 

Not for your brother, not for your friend, not for your parents, not for your peers, not for your mentor — for you.

You have to forge your own path.

It is your responsibility, again, it is your privilege, to choose.

And so, as I sat tonight thinking about what I want my life to be, what I would like to accomplish and what I would like to see in my future — I decided to put away the thoughts of others, the thoughts of comfortability, and the thoughts of the conventional path. 

I decided to choose the path for me that might be a little harder. Might be a little judged. 

BI have to give in to the truth — my truth. 

And I hope you will do the same. 

Anastasia Warren