A beautiful mess

Runs with skyline views. Romantic run ins. Drinks on rooftops with beautiful people. 

The movies. 

The movies paint pictures of perfect lives. Perfect apartments. Perfect relationships. Perfect love stories. Perfect outfits. Perfect trips. 

Perfect pictures. 

The movies, TV, social media, people's stories — they paint perfect pictures.

Perfect pictures of uprooting, of moving to a new place, of big cities and perfect strangers.

There are so many things they don't tell you.

They don't tell you about the struggles, the lonely nights, the constant question of "was this right?"

Is this right? 

Did I do the right thing, will I ever find true happiness, why are my internal battles still present each and every day? 

Is this right? 

Am I wrong? 

They don't tell you that you walk the streets feeling like an imposter, wondering how you got here, not feeling like you belong. 

Not feeling like you deserve it, this life that's now yours. 

Did I work hard enough for this? 

Do I deserve this? 

They don't tell you that you walk around with more questions than before. That what you thought would be the answer to all of your problems, really just sprung more questions. 

Questions. 

They don't tell you that the answer to your questions doesn't come in an apartment, a city, a job, or a pair of heels. 

They don't tell you that the answer to your questions is you — your mind. 

Your thoughts. 

You. 

They don't tell you that you will you continue to struggle, that you will continue to question. 

They don't tell you that it's not perfect. 

They don't tell you that those perfect pictures — they aren't real.

Why don't they tell you? 

Because real life, it's better than the perfect pictures. Real life, it's struggle, it's adversity, it's perseverance, it's triumph. 

It's growth.

And it's beautiful.

It's waking up each day, and remembering that you accomplished a dream. You accomplished a goal. It's waking up each day, and remembering that you are strong enough to handle whatever life throws your way.

It's waking up each day, and remembering that the struggle — that's the beautiful part. 

The questions — they're your answers. 

The questions — they're what makes life so intricately beautiful, confusing, scary, sad, amazing, exhilarating, and everything in between.

There are so many things they don't tell you. 

But the discovery of the imperfections, of the mess — that's the fun part.

Because life, life is a beautiful mess — I am, you are, she is, he is, life is. 

It's simply a beautiful mess.

Anastasia Warren