Strength

I've been, on the outside, at my highest highs, but with that, I have also seen my lowest lows. I've seen potential in myself I never thought possible, and I've felt things I never thought imaginable.

High highs, and low lows. 

I've made significant progress, and I've made significant mistakes. 

I've figured things out, and I've forgotten them all again. I've found myself, and I've lost myself again. I've come out of the dark, and I've buried myself under the covers again. 

I've won battles, and I've lost battles. I've known exactly where to turn, and I've been the most confused I've ever known.

I've had days where I had a hard time recognizing the person staring back at me in the mirror.

But the thing is, this year is a part of me — a part of my story. And, if I was able to go back and have a re-do, I would do it all over again. 

Why? 

Why would I put myself through my lowest lows once more? 

Lessons. 

I have learned so many lessons through my battles — through my war. 

There is one, though, that sticks out the most.

Strength. 

You are stronger than your thoughts, your actions, your old habits, the things that have happened to you.

You are stronger than it all. 

Because, even on your worst days, when you feel like the world is caving in on you, you can remember that you are stronger. Stronger than your anxiety, your sadness, your worry, your circumstances — you are stronger. 

And this lesson, this lesson in strength and seeing my own — that is what will carry me through. 

That is what will carry me through the ups and downs of life, because there are bound to be more — there are bound to be worse. 

But my strength, it will guide me. My strength, it will see me through. My strength, it will allow me to help others.

My strength, it will show me how amazing life is no matter what is thrown at me, no matter what the universe plans. 

So yes, this year has been an interesting one. Yes, I have a lot to rebuild. 

And yes, I wouldn't have it any other way, because life is amazing. Life is beautiful. Life is filled with high highs and low lows. 

Life is filled with life, and shouldn't it be so?