The Time Has Come - to share later
You think and you think. You talk and you talk. You plan and you plan. You write and you write.
You put off and you put off.
You stay scared and you stay scared.
Dreams are scary. Or at least, mine are. They make me shake with excitement, yet they make my stomach turn over when I think about the actual possibility. They make me the happiest I've ever been, and the saddest when I see them as so far away. They make me think I can do anything, and that I can't do anything... let alone accomplish them, ever, at all.
Because dreams are scary, we put them off. When I reach x number of savings, I'll do it. When I have this on my resume, I'll go for it. After I get my masters, then it's time.
We simply put them off, or at least, I do.
Because dreams are scary.
"Your dreams aren't big enough if they don't scare you," they say. "Thanks, but I'd rather not get gray hairs at 25," I say.
So we suppress them, or at least, I did.
And when we do this, when we try to convince ourselves that the safe path is what we truly want, we slowly lose ourselves, over time.
Or least, that's what I did.
Because dreams are scary, but they're not going away.
You can suppress them all you want, but your gut feeling will linger forever.
You dream and you dream, you plan and you plan. You make decision after decision only to change your mind again. You stay scared and you stay scared.
And then one day, you stop.
One day, you realize that everything you have gone through up until this point has been the universe telling you to learn your lesson. That if you don't listen to your gut, you're not going to be happy.
So one day, you listen.
You listen to the gut feeling inside you telling you your plans are wrong. You listen to the gut feeling inside you that scares the living shit out of you, but you know is right.
You let go of the known, and you embrace the un.
The unknown is scary - it's terrifying. It's hard to know if it will even work out as you planned. It's impossible to know if you'll make it.
But you have to take a chance on yourself.
You have to say hello to the unknown, the un. You have to make it your known.
You have to believe that you can do it, and that at some point, the time has come.
The time has come.
I'll never forget this day (mostly because I'll have this blog), because today is the day I have decided to say hello to my intuition - to make my unknown, my known. To live my life the way I know I want to and to navigate the unknown like I know I can.
I have decided to stop telling others to follow their hearts, I have decided to stop listening to podcasts of the greats where they tell me to follow my own, I have decided to stop thinking everything needs to be perfect in order for me to move ahead - I have decided to do it.
To stop talking. To stop thinking.
To do it.
Today is the day I have decided to take a leap of faith, to brush up my resume and to move across the country.
If I fail, I fail.
But if I don't, well, what if I don't?