Some snow would be nice (prior to actually getting a job)
I haven't done a grand social media announcement, though I guess this kind of is just that, because I haven't really known what to say.
And, you know, what if I fail?
And also, not telling the whole world allowed me some space to change my mind. Some space to not have some insane pressure on myself to follow through and remain accountable to what I say I'm going to do.
And finally, if you haven't noticed, I'm a decently open book. Not fully, of course, because no one is... but I definitely share my daily life, my hopes and dreams, my fears and my thoughts.
But this, this meant too much. This was what I had, really, been waiting my whole life to do.
This was my dream.
But now, I say f*** it.
I want to tell you what it is I'm brewing behind the scenes, because I want to write about it. I want to tell you, because I'm proving to myself that I don't need anyone's approval, judgements, or anything else.
I'm proving to myself that even if I tell everyone I'm doing something and change my mind in the end because I'm happier doing something else, well then that's what I'm going to do.
So, three months ago, I quit my job.
Now, before you go texting me to ask what's up (if I haven't told you yet), let me explain.
I'm still working at my company. In fact, my last day is December 1st... which, by the way, is in three months (what the hell).
Three months ago, I quit my job. But I gave a six month notice. "You're crazy!" Many said.
Yes, yes I am.
No, I knew the relationship I had with my employer and of course ran the risk of my time at the company ending early — but that was the risk I was willing to take in order to be transparent, fair, and honestly, to hold myself accountable to my goal.
And let me interject here that my employer has been nothing short of gracious throughout the process. They have been insanely supportive and actually, happy for me. I couldn't ask for a better transition (which is also why it makes it so hard to say goodbye).
So anyway, let me get to the main event here.
I have been wanting to make a leap ever since I was little, really. Ever since I got a taste of big cities and possibility. My dreams have wavered as I have tried to find my way — as I have grown up, as the real world has happened, and as I have gone through different bouts of mental issues. My dreams have gone on and off as I have figured out rent, bills, and the inevitable growing pains that come with "adulthood."
But what I do know, and what I have always, deep down known, is that I am the happiest, the most myself, and the most free when I am being honest about my hopes and dreams. They scare the shit out of me, which is why I so often push them away — which is why I so often feel suffocated and stuck.
But I'm not going to push them away anymore, not today.
I quit my job three months ago, because I am ready to chase my dreams.
And while I am so grateful for everything up until this point, including the downfalls and the low moments, I am ready for something more — something different. And while this is hard, because I do have it really great — this is what I need to do.
The universe has an interesting way of letting you know what to do, and three months ago, it did just that.
I'm moving to Boston.
Because one day I just realized, that here it's nice in the summer — some snow would be nice.
It's funny, because I wrote this blog about a month before I got my job offer. I was planning on not getting there until sometime in the spring of 2018, but the universe just worked it's magic.