Lessons You Need To Hear

"Damn I'm hungover," I thought. "Better reflect and question my entire existence and every decision that led me to feeling this way," I said. 

Here we go.

2017 was the the toughest year of my life — but it was also one of the greatest. I got down to some of my lowest lows in 2017, but I was also given a glimpse of my highest highs. 

Though today is just another day, though the new year doesn't change much — this seems like a good time to remember what we've learned, in hopes of applying our lessons moving forward.

Maybe these will help you. Cheers.

I've learned that you need to let yourself enjoy big moments instead of stressing over the next big thing.

When I first attained my dream of moving to Boston, I didn't really let myself fully enjoy it — I'm not sure if I even have yet. I was constantly saying "once I (blank), then I will relax and be happy." What happened? I didn't realize that I had attained a goal — I went through the motions, wrote lists, and didn't vibe. 

No thanks.

I've learned that how you look on paper doesn't mean anything if you aren't happy off.

Honestly, why in the world do we want to do certain things in our careers just so we can say we did it? 

Right reasons, people. Right reasons.

I've learned that material items don't bring you happiness (but having a couch is nice).

For years my anxiety told me I needed so many things to be "ready." The truth is, I moved to Boston with two suitcases and a pillow and I'm doing just fine.

I've learned that presence is all that really matters, even though it's something so many of us struggle to attain.

If you are present, you eat intuitively. If you are present, you create meaningful relationships. If you are present, you are balanced. If you are present, you are focused. 

If you are not, you are missing out on your life.

I've learned that life is too short. 

This year was spent trying to change everything about who I am — the good, the bad, and everything in between — and life is too damn short for that.

I've learned that I don't want to focus on the wrong things until it's too late to focus on the right ones. 

Social media presence, pant size, brand of my purse, recognition — I'm done chasing it.

I've learned that you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

In 2017, I uprooted my life and left my family and friends. I don't regret it, and I'm excited for what the new chapter will bring — however, I will say, that I regret saying "no" to friends, I regret wasting hours of my life complaining about where I lived, and I regret not realizing how good I had it until I was gone.

I've learned that looks are bullshit.

I've spent so many years of my life wrapped up in a world where I don't look good enough. I thought people judged me, when really, I was the most judgmental of all. 

Looks aren't everything, in fact, they are almost nothing.

I've learned that it's okay to get help. 

I realized that there is no shame in getting help for different things going on in your life. Therapy, a gym, podcasts — whatever you need, you need.

I've learned that you can run and run and run — but if you don't get to the root, you will never be happy. 

You can uproot your life, change everything about yourself, and hit refresh — but the truth is, you're not going to be happy until you let yourself.

I've learned that it's okay to have weaknesses — that it's okay to need to work on yourself.

I'm addicted to social media for the wrong reasons. I spend too much on material items and am still learning how to handle my money. I'm battling anxiety, depression, and an ED. I'm still finding myself in my life and career — I still fail consistently. 

And it's all okay.

I've learned that I wouldn't change a god damn thing.

I've hurt people, though mostly only hurt myself, I haven't been the best version of me — but the thing about all of this — is that I wouldn't change it.

Any of it. 

Because I'm here now, I'm standing.

I'm walking. 

I'm running.

And this time, I'm running for the right reasons.