One step back, ten thousand steps forward

I'm taking a step back, so I don't have to experience anymore setbacks... or at least, not the same one.

I'm taking a step back, so I can take a step forward. 

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What is so innately true in the mind of a driven, entrepreneurial soul — is the inability to turn off. 

The inability to stop striving — to stop scheming. 

It is simply not natural to not have a goal in mind — to not act on thoughts and ideas. 

It is tough, you can then imagine, when you realize that the one thing holding you back from accomplishing these goals is your innate inability to turn them off. 

It is tough, you can then imagine, when you realize that you must let them go... at least for right now.

It feels wrong for me to not look to the next thing — to not scheme up my next big accomplishment or creative venture. It feels like I'm failing, giving up, even — to not sit and write out an intricately detailed plan. 

It feels like I'm breaking the rules. The rules for which I created in my own life — the rules that don't actually exist. 

Because all of that — all of that telling me it's wrong to let go — that is the lie. 

Because the truth — the truth that I so very very sharply turn away from — is this.

Every day that I don't focus on the one thing I need to focus on the heaviest, is a day lost. 

Every day that I don't work on the inside, is a day that I don't perform to my potential on the outside. 

Every day that I set out plans, only to feel as though they aren't good enough, is a day I am pulling further away from being me. 

Every day that I don't choose my most important and unwritten goal, is a day I put all of my other ones one more inch out of my reach. 

I realized today that I need to listen to these truths, rather than the lies. I need to do this, because the more I don't, the more I grow to despise the one thing that makes me, me — my drive.

I'm tired of seeing my entrepreneurial spirit as a negative. I'm tired of being driven by insecurity and remorse, instead of inspiration and love. 

I'm glad the truth knocked hard enough today, because the truth taught me this.

I would rather wake up when I'm 40 having only accomplished one goal than none.

I would rather be better tomorrow than be exactly where I am today. 

I would rather take the time necessary to get set-up, so that I don't need to walk on a wobbly cobblestone path my whole life. 

I would rather walk on solid ground.

I would rather walk where the flowers smell better and the chocolate tastes richer. I would rather walk where I have lesser insecurities and more time to be me. 

That's where I would rather walk. 

I'm starting over.

In my path, I'm going to take (begrudgingly as hell), what would appear to some as a step back. I'm going to take a step back from goals and plans and schemes. 

I'm going to take a step back, so I can avoid these same set backs over and over and over again. 

I'm going to take a step back, so I can stop the pattern in its tracks. 

I'm going to take a step back, so I can experience new setbacks — so that I can learn new things.

I'm going to take a step back, so I can take a step forward. 

I'm going to take a step back, so I can learn how to just be me.

I would rather live my life on solid ground.

That's what I would rather do.