ayo

It's a balance. 

It's all just a balance. 

One big balance. 

I've gone through a lot of mindsets as I've tried to find my path. Sometimes, setting insane goals and boundaries. Other times, setting none at all. 

This year, I decided to let go and let live. Just enjoy it. Free myself. 

And that is what I need to do. 

However, it is, sadly enough, an innate part of who I am to need things to work for — things to strive to. 

I need passion. I need projects. I need reasons for working as hard as I do each day. 

I cannot sit back. I cannot not write. I cannot not work toward something else — something more. 

It is, simply, not who I am. 

And that's okay. 

Because when I am not working on my podcast, my book, my blog, a promotion — myself... well then I am not being me. 

I need to progress, grow and work toward things. And yes, that includes working toward letting go. 

It's a balance. A balance between living free and hanging a fruit not high enough, and also, not too low. 

It's about learning that what you have now is enough, and it has always been enough. But, that it is also okay to work toward more, to create more, to learn more — to love more.

Being grateful and happy and working on goals and different projects are not mutually exclusive things.

So I have found my happy place (at least for today). 

I am going to strive to do this in my life...

I am going to write and podcast and create when it FEELS right. I am going to kick ass at my job and work as hard as I can because that FEELS right. I am going to workout and eat based on what FEELS right.

I am going to remember this, every day, and when I forget, I am going to forgive myself and try again: 

-I am passionate.

-I am authentic.

-I live in abundance, I have everything I need.

-I work hard.

-I am present.

-I live balanced.

-I know how to let go. 

-I am grateful.

-I do things in love.

-I don't take it all so seriously... I laugh.

-I'm going to forget all that and re-read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F***, solely because I can.

This is what I'm going to strive to do, because this is how I'm going to be the person I want to be. 

Balance.

The one thing I absolutely suck at, is the one thing that is going to set me free. 

Mic drop and out.