WELCOME TO LIMBO
Introduction (Or, the part where you decide if you want to read on or use this as a coffee table book you pretend you’ve read at all your hosted social gatherings)
“Well, what is it that you’re going to do with your life?” Her voice echoed through the phone.
“Oh god, grandma, I don’t know,” I laughed a little. The kind of laugh I had been doing for the past four years - the one where I act as though I’m totally carefree and handling this really well (“this” being adulting), but really I’m essentially confused 24/7… give or a take a few hours of REM cycle sleep.
“It’s okay, honey. It’ll all work out - I’m proud of you.”
Oh, how I needed that call today.
My grandma called me after reading a melodramatic tweet I had tweeted. It read something like, “TFW your friends ask you what you’re doing with your life and you say, I don’t know, bye” followed by a few wine emojis (because, duh). This basically translates to, "I have no idea what I’m doing with my life, so I’m going to drink. K thanks bye."
Before we move forward, let's note a few things that don't have much to do with the story, but give credit where credit is due. Yes, my grandma has Twitter. Yes, she's hip like that. And yes, she was calling to check up. Because yes, she's awesome like that (good thing she doesn't do this every time I post an overly dramatic tweet or we would be on the phone an upwards of three times daily, but more on that later).
This call led me to actually get on with this book I've been so wanting to write. This book I've been claiming to be working on when really I was, well, not really working on it.
This book is inspired by many of my friends' and acquaintances' experiences, but, largely, it is inspired by my own story (because, duh). It is my story through adulthood, growing up, trying to follow both my head and my heart, struggling with self-love and balance, going through the most difficult moments of my life, and coming out on the other side.
Hopefully, I can help you too.
Because figuring out our lives, finding our life’s purpose, working on self-discovery, trying to fix our flaws, our fears, our shortcomings, our bad habits - it’s a relatively difficult thing to do.
As in, being human is a relatively difficult thing to do.
And growing up, that's even harder.
But that's what makes it worth it.
Finding where you fit in the world and comparing what you find to what someone else has found, discovering different parts of who you are and trying to understand how to pay rent while also following your heart - it’s, well, difficult.
And I’m here to tell you - that’s okay.
It simply is.
It is, for many of us, an inevitable part of our journey. The journey we take as we face our fears and build the foundation of our lives.
It simply is.
Because the ones with questions, they’re the ones with answers. The ones that get lost, they’re the ones that get found. The ones that can’t find it, they’re the ones that keep searching. The ones that dream, they’re the ones that make change.
We’re all these ones, in one way or another. We’ve all been there, in some way, shape, or form.
You have a goal, but you don’t know the route to get there. You know there’s more, but you don’t know what exactly it is you’re looking for.
You change your mind often. You’re scared shitless of your own dreams. You get lost. You get lonely. You mess up. You think no one gets it. You feel hopeless. You feel inspired again.
You eventually learn that all of this was part of the process. You learn that it all had it's purpose, it's reason for being the way it was. You learn that it's a beautiful part of the journey, one that you shouldn't wish away or try to forget. You learn that it's what makes you, you. And you realize that it's pretty f***ing cool.
You learn to live your best life, in the pursuit of what it is that you, at least think, will bring you ultimate happiness.
You realize that the daily pursuit, if that’s all you ever get, well, that'll be enough.
You realize that actually, it's more than enough. You realize that you are enough.
You, you are me. You are figuring it out. You are failing, succeeding, loving every day.
You are in Limbo.
So, grab your drink of choice, and get ready to enjoy the ride.